Oh, That Golden Middle Way...

Have You Chosen Right Way?

November 28, 2009 in Personal 1 Comment

“Next to sound judgment, diamonds and pearls are the rarest things in the world”
Jean de La Bruyere

Have You Chosen Right Way?
(Oh, That Golden Middle Way)
By Maya

Where should I start? In the middle? :) That would be great being instantly way ahead with this article, but, on second thought, at the beginning would be much better :)
Because then all should eventually (and hopefully) develop into “making sense”…

If I should choose one thing I’ve accepted always as a wisdom in my life and that from an early youth, it would be “sayings” from our predecessors. After all, nothing would “survive” that long it there wouldn’t be at least a grain of truth in it, would it? All those many years ago as they lived their lives in “bad and good” as we all do, they also had many problems and dilemmas to solve every day and right or wrong decision brought either success of failure of things, just the same as it is today. The path always had to be chosen. The only question was, which one?

We all follow our own paths on our way through life as individuals and as a nations. So what historically always worked the best? What decisions made most sense? What was is to keep people behaving more as they should, meaning more humanly? What was always done most successfully that made people to get along better? These questions could go on an on…, but my goal here is to determine fitting answer…
So going back to my youth I am glad to say that I became very soon familiar with valuable saying: “Golden middle way” simply because I’ve heard it often and it did stick in my mind for good. And that not just as a saying but I always looked for it in real life too. When you think of it you must feel it has some natural “ring” to it, something logical, something that embraces common sense. Yes, this would be most likely best description;
“Golden middle way” simply make sense.

Now let see where we can apply it as wisdom, as an advice and as a rule. I discovered and that not just “out of the blue” but by thinking and by careful observation… that it simply fits everywhere! And whats more, if the rule is disregarded in any way, consequences shall not be usually too satisfactory.
Another thing I discovered was that people more often than not are lacking this particular “common sense”, opting for totally nonsensical ways in solving things, accepting and following wrong choices (without thinking) and even follow up wrong people for that matter.
Now lets look at our world, which give us plenty of proof even without effort of searching. Wherever I look, whatever I consider, it is simply silently shouting out; Oh, turn back, this is not the way, it is not the one following common sense, not the right one!
Americans are sadly somehow immune, or perhaps deaf to this voice, resulting in a very unfortunate outcomes. How very detrimentally things end when wrong road has been chosen. I noticed that shortly after coming here over two decades ago. It is so very peculiar phenomena.
So, let me give you an example, or countless many if you wish so, to bring this point across;

Years back when I arrived to US I watched TV indiscriminately because I had to improve my English as soon as possible. I noticed that in commercial involving woman’s bra there was provided demonstration on plastic manikin and even that had some crack in it to be sure audience trusted this wasn’t real woman. Perhaps it would have insulted “fragile sensibilities” of American public? I’ve never found out…
Then in a TV movies every remotely nude scenes had some kind of protection…black strips provided to cover up any and all “sensitive” places.
Some years passed and now I am disgusted even to mention what we have to stomach, not to mention your children could see it and even being taught to accept and consume this horror on daily basis. I stopped watching TV because I never liked empty shells. Somehow I always search for “pearls”. To find them nowadays in TV programs is a lost hope…
Question: Do you see here even remotely use of “Golden middle way?” Because I don’t. In both situations approach was and is irrational, totally lacking specks of common sense. Both ways are wrong, of course, in a first case overdone show of “Puritanism”, in second virtually sick show of “vulgarity”.

Next: I was always shocked how readily people accept trends, like going headlong down the steep hill hoping to be stopped by “sack of gold?” This is real disease in this country. So in this example I would like to mention another such a lack of common sense and totally missed “Golden middle way.” This one is so much more pronounced in its seriousness, because unfortunately brought harm to your children. And that was following of an “infamous Dr. Spock’s ideas for your children”s upbringing. I was always in shock to see that happening of which so devastating results are on display that only someone with no ounce of brain could still follow disregarding all so obvious evidence.
I’ve made a point to read some of his writings. Well, just the same (never learn?) as we should know from examples of others (Dr. Atkins to name one, where evidence shows thousands with their health destroyed) digging up some theories that are somewhat different, seemingly progressive and well thought out (?) (well they are…in a monetary value and counting on those who will swallow those theories and deem themselves enlightened at the same time) is the very easy. I could make up a few right now, just give me a moment… But when in use of those there is a damaging outcome, then it cold become very serious matter, usually uncorrectable.
Yes, make psychological debate with your child; it will sure understand your well- meant point. Actually better than you would expect, but to your dismay on totally opposite pole. It will instinctively know that he can do whatever he wants, because rightful punishment is never coming. Growing up shifty, calculating, deceiving little monster. Look what generation you brought up. Have you ever heard before about children with no feelings, with no respect, with no desire to please you as a parent, lacking attention span, no desire to learn, to excel, not being able to accept discipline, which is alpha and omega of all success in learning, in achieving? Look at the place where you stand statistically comparing to even undeveloped countries in education. Look at the teachers that are being abused, even murdered by very young children. I certainly don’t need to go on… you all own TV.
On the other side we hear about horrible child abuse. This is even worse than first scenario.
Question: Do you see even remotely use of “Golden middle way?” Because I don’t.

But that choice was always present and always shall be. Spank on a butt when deserved, makes wonders, it actually is the shortest way to brain to grasp something was done wrong :) We all were spanked, I more that average, my mother wasn’t partial to a girl, she wanted boy….(side note). But we all spanked ones grew up as healthy and psychologically sound individuals. Prepared better for real life, where forgiveness for everything doesn’t exist.

I mentioned somewhere in one of my articles story about mother who decided to employ Socrates to teach her son. He asked her; “How old is the boy?”. And when she hopefully stated “Only four”, Socrates responded: “Sorry, he is too old.” Children should be taught very soon what’s right and what’s wrong, what good and bad manners are, etc. it must be instilled in them. But thinking that they would understand your psychological deductions? You can’t be serious. Certainly by forgiving them and generously overlooking their shortcomings is wrong for them, letting them grow like a trees in a forest and for you it would mean to live up to great disappointment and forever wonder… why? I did my best. Obviously you didn’t. Because the rule applies here more importantly than anywhere else. Rule of common sense, rule of “Golden middle way”.
I could present to you many more examples and no surprisingly all would fit the bill…as…
*You could firmly bring your point across in argument without insulting anyone.

This smells to me of “Golden middle way”.
*Our political parties could certainly look into this option and take a hint too. Hello! There is a better way!

Applying rule of “Golden Middle Way!”
*You eat like a “pig” what you expect to look like? Swan? Eat nothing and what would happen? Long life? Here we go…
*Drink like a earth after drought and you become confirmed addict. Drink moderately….and so on…

Same is with spending money:
You want to buy something. Well, this stuff is so cheap, it can’t be any good and you most likely get what you’ve “paid for”. But this is great… well still it has so many parts I really don’t even need and they ask a fortune for it.
Quiz: which way would you go? Still not sure? Don’t joke with me, I just told you, several times… :)

As I mentioned earlier, there is always extreme either to the left or right and besides in obvious situations, like when you drive and must take right (or left) otherwise you’ll find yourself visiting totally different place than intended, this golden rule simply applies. Think of it when you are making decision. Take time to think when you handle any situation. Think of it when your are in a quandary about anything. Also remember:
“Words are the most powerful drugs used by mankind”
Rudyard Kipling

Yes, there always will be those with new theories using rather persuasive words to “get you.”
But if you use the rule I’m suggesting, you can’t go wrong. Keep your senses, honor “Golden middle way.”
( So I secretly hope that my words provoke relevant thoughts in you., that’s all…)

The Golden Middle Way would take you there more safely and with less or no regrets. Because, at the end there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I specifically have chosen appropriate picture. Look at it. Imagine this as your Better way to deal with it all. Following lighter and easier way, direction via “straight” not confusion and light would wait for you to celebrate reaching your destination, which would turn out to be the proper one. You were not lost you did find the way. Way of logic and common sense…. This is only one worthy of your pursuit.

Meeting you in a middle of “Golden middle way” :)

And very happily, really…
Maya